Treating yourself: Sometimes a bedazzler offers the right dosage, says crafty side hustler

When women need help forming deep connections and honest conversations, Suzi Nelson said, it takes more than a simple prescription for sparkle — take one rhinestone and call me in the morning — but it’s a start.

“I trick people into talking about their feelings,” said Nelson, founder of Rxtra Co., a small business that hosts intimate bedazzling parties across Kansas City. “I’m going to reel you in with this ridiculous craft, and then: surprise! We’re also going to have a structured conversation about ‘How are you coping? How are you actually doing?’”

Through her events, women sit in small groups and get their bedazzling kits. A signature pill bottle frequently forms the base of activity.

Then Nelson facilitates conversations about mental health and self-care. Participants chat and bedazzle, or not. There are no rules about how people must participate. But the connections have been real.

“One of the women messaged me to say, ‘I did not know any of these three women when I sat down, and now we’re on a Bedazzled Besties group chat and we’re hanging out now,’” Nelson said.

Click here to follow Rxtra Co. on Instagram.

In addition to in-person events, Rxtra Co. also sells kits online, complete with craft supplies and conversation cards. Besides the pill bottle, limited-edition kits also include such variants as a compact with conversation around comparison and confidence, and a tampon with topics about growing into womanhood.

These may be weighty topics for rhinestones. But the kits and programming come from an honest desire for connection, Nelson said.

When Nelson and her family moved to Kansas City two years ago, she was struck by the difficulty of building relationships in a place where many people have friendships that date back to childhood.

“If you didn’t grow up here, and if you’re not part of a church community, and you’re an adult with kids, it’s very hard to make real, deep connections,” she said. “It starts to feel like everybody’s got a ride or die but you.”

This was more than a passing thought. Nelson works full-time in community management in social media, and she’s passionate about the behavioral science of relationships and connection. She notes that it takes 200 hours of one-on-one time to build a solid relationship. And not having social needs met increases the risk of heart disease.

Nelson knew what she needed to do, she said, so she put herself out there — joining book clubs and structured meet-up groups. The more she worked to connect, the more she heard from other women how they struggle to build relationships as adults.

“I started to feel really passionate about getting women to connect in real ways, not just things where you stay surface level and talk about safe things,” Nelson said. “I took all that, and I noticed this silly trend on Instagram where people were bedazzling their pill bottles. I thought it was so funny, because it has a lot of interesting connotations to it.”

So, she invited some friends over to bedazzle pill bottles and really check in with each other. It was a great success. And so was another event with a different group of friends.

The side hustle of Rxtra Co. was born in April.

Since that time, she’s hosted events at places like Sara McGinty’s bar in Lenexa, as well as sell-out gatherings at such venues as Smitten Booktique and Monarch Books & Gifts.

Women join Rxtra Co. for a group bedazzling night; photo courtesy of Rxtra Co.

“I’m trying to help women find that excuse to get together,” Nelson said. “And the conversation cards are all about women’s mental health. ‘How are you coping? What parts of yourself are you downplaying to make other people feel comfortable?’ Because that’s a thing that women tend to do.”

Nelson is looking forward to partnering with more local businesses. Reaching out to media and other entrepreneurs is an exercise she calls “Shoot Your Shot Wednesdays.”

“I just think, ‘Who needs to know about this? How can I get the word out?’ And so I just send pitch emails,” Nelson said.

So far, that approach has garnered a TV segment and meetings with potential event partners. Through it all, Nelson is having fun and focusing on staying flexible.

“Curiosity will keep you going when motivation can’t. It’s easy to get discouraged when you’re just starting out and things don’t go the way you hoped,” she said. “The cure for discouragement is to stay curious. Dig into the why something isn’t working, testing new things, and really serving the market instead of just defending your original idea.”

Nelson is walking that entrepreneurial walk right now.

“I started Rxtra Co. thinking of it as a kit company, but the more I test and pay attention to what’s actually working, the more I wonder if it’s really an events company that happens to sell kits,” she said. “I don’t know the answer yet, and I think that’s the point. Nothing is precious. Stay curious enough to let the business tell you what it actually is.”